Making Awesome Lemonade

You have friends of friends. You have friends. You have best friends. And then you have life long friends. This story is about one of my oldest friends – Chris. We’ve been buddies for almost 20 years, which is amazing.

Over the course of two decades, I’ve learned a lot from him. But after a week of drinking scotch together in Hong Kong, it was apparent that we are still teaching each other things. And not just about expensive scotches.

Four years ago, Chris was working as an investment banker in New York. He was busting his ass, working crazy 80 hour weeks for some rich assholes. And then the markets crashed. The whole industry was thrown in a tailspin. He was in a situation where he wasn’t sure that his company was going to be able to pay him. So, he bounced.

He moved from New York to Beijing to learn Chinese. After a couple in Beijing, he connected with a guy that he knew in college. Together, they started their own private equity firm. After a couple of years and a stint in Shanghai, he’s now in Hong Kong running their company.

Let’s take stock. Four years ago, his world went to shit. But instead of sitting around trying desperately to hold onto his old lifestyle, he let go. He got the fuck out of there and made his own opportunities. He now speaks fluent Mandarin and pretty good Cantonese. He’s the boss instead of the employee. And (best of all) he makes his own hours.

What I love about Chris’s story is that he took lemons and making fucking awesome lemonade. At some point in our lives, we will all find ourselves in a situation that sucks. It can be school, a job, a relationship, an apartment or even a city. You think, fuck it. I’m out of here. I can do better somewhere else. But it takes balls to leave. It doesn’t take any courage to hang around and complain, trying to get your old life back. It takes courage to let go. To move on and actively search out your next opportunity.

The courage to embrace change - that is what’s cool. And that is what Chris taught me.

- Christian

On Moving Up. And How To Do It Well.

I play a lot of ultimate frisbee. I’ve written about it before here and here. Recently, I was selected for a high level men’s team that represents Montreal. They’re good. The level of play is higher than any other team that I’ve been a part of. They’ve won national championships and they’ve gone to worlds. For my ultimate frisbee career, this was a move up for me. When this happened, I was REALLY excited. It would give me a chance to learn from a group with a high level of experience, strategy and skill.

And then something interesting happened – they changed my position. I normally play a cutter, because I’m quick on the field. They changed me to a handler. The football equivalent would be moving a wide receiver to play quarterback. When this happened, I almost shit my pants. I had no idea why they thought that I would be a good handler. I had basically no experience in that role. I didn’t know the positioning, strategy or throws required. I was in fear of seriously screwing up and getting benched.

The stark reality of promotions is that people usually get pushed into positions of greater responsibility by being really good at the tasks that they already do. The challenge is that the new position often involves a completely different skill set than what was required from the previous role. Basically, because you were good at one thing, you’re asked to do something completely different. Because you’re an awesome art director, all of a sudden you’re expected to manage creative teams and guide other people’s work. But being good at concepting and art direction doesn’t give you the skill set to manage people. It’s a totally different beast. You have to deal with egos, motivation, creative opinions and strategy.

When faced with a host of new responsibilities without the proper training, it’s easy to panic. Since you just got the new position, you sure as fuck don’t want to screw it up. It increases your stress levels and distracts from actually performing. To move up gracefully, and surviving the handicap of not having the full skill set for a new role, there are five key things to do:

1. Stick To What You’re Good At
The first thing to do is to stick to what you’re good at. The skills that got you to where you are. The experience that got your selected. When you first enter into a new role, a big mistake is to try and prove that you can do everything. The truth is that everyone expects you to be able to be able to those things that you haven’t learned yet. By trying to do them without guidance or experience, you’re just going to prove that you CAN’T do them to everyone. So, lay low on your weaker points for the first little while. For the first big game, you want to stick to your core skill set. If you’re fast on the field and can only throw with 95% accuracy within 30 meters, then stick to that.

2. Get A Mentor. Or Two.
The next step is to get a mentor. The goal is to find someone who is willing to teach you the ropes and fill out your skill set. You want someone who has been there before. The good thing about a team or a big organization is that there are a lot of people who can help you out. And don’t be afraid to approach a couple of people. Some people can help you with throwing. Some people with cutting. With positioning. With defense. Ask everyone what you need to do better in order to play better on the team. Get constant feedback, tips and improvement. The goal is to get enough tips so that when you practice, you are practicing the right things.

3. Practice. A Lot.
To fill in the skill gaps required in your new position, you need to practice. A lot. It’s all about repetition. Getting enough experience under your belt that the movements are easy and automatic. The goal is to have near-perfect execution in practice. When it comes to game time, you can focus on the important things, like reading the opposition and adjusting your strategy. This step is often the toughest, because there is no shortcut. You just need to put in the hours to gain the experience. Dirk Nowitzki’s recent NBA playoff record  of nailing 24 straight free throws was a product of practice. He credited it all to a couple of late night shooting sessions during their eight day game-less stretch in the playoffs. He just put in the reps.

4. Game Time – Introduce New Skills.
After a couple weeks of practice, you have a shiny new skill set that you want to incorporate into your game. But treat the introduction of those skills as a test. If they work, then keep using them. If not, then try to figure out what when wrong and fine tune. If worst comes to worst, go back to the practice stage. Keep on working on your skills until they’re game ready. There is no need to force new elements in before they’re ready. The key is to introduce them as a part of your game, and than carry on with the swagger that you had all along.

5. Fake It ‘Til You Make It
Until you have the full skill set required, keep on faking it until you make it. Don’t show the weaknesses in your game to your opponents on the field or to your clients in the boardroom. Just keep on practicing and working the extra hours until you get those skills locked in. People always assume that if you’re on the team or in the room, that you’ve earned your way there. Don’t prove them wrong by volunteering the information to show that you’re not.

CONCLUSION
Getting the call up is exciting and terrifying at the same time. Whether you’re moving into a new role at work or on the playing field, the emotions are the same. There is the enthusiasm at the opportunity to move up to the next level. There is the fear of failing now that the stakes are that much higher.

In order to be successful in a new position, you need to round out your skill set. But you don’t have to do it all at once. The reason you got the call up is because of what you’ve already proven that you can do. You can take your time and introduce the new elements as you get more comfortable with your role and yourself.

- Christian

All Roads (Should) Lead To Happiness

Why are you doing what you’re doing now? Maybe you’re doing it for fun. Or for the experience. Or because there’s nothing better to do.

There is a host of reasons for being in the job that you’re in. When starting out, the answer is often experience – you value real world experience in an industry to act as a foundation before you start building your career. You grow your book. You prove to people that you know what you’re doing and learn the on-the-job lessons.

The easiest answer is money – the job pays you what you need to get by and live your life the way you want it. Some people value free time over money – the job allows you to leave at an appropriate time so you can spend time with your family or skateboarding or travelling.

But there’s also power – the ability to reign over others and have your opinions heard. And then there’s recognition and celebrity – it’s nice to have your ego stroked and be known as one of the “leaders” in your field. To wield that star power has an intoxicating allure.

And the list goes on and on. But reasons all have something in common – they lead to happiness. Money gives you cash to buy the stuff to make you happy. Experience gives you leverage to create a happy career. Free time gives you the opportunity to spend time doing the things that make you the happiest.

There can be a lot of reasons why you work at your job right now. But they should all lead to happiness.

If what you do everyday isn’t enabling happiness in your life, then what will?

- Christian

Looking Back

I was reading David Trott’s blog and came across this letter from an 84 year old. Interesting and inspiring.

“If I had my life to live over again I would try to make more mistakes
next time. I’d try not to be so perfect.
I’d relax more, I’d be sillier than I’ve been on this trip.
In fact, I know of very few things I’d take quite so seriously.
I’d be crazier, I’d take more chances, I’d take more trips,
I’d climb more mountains. I’d swim more rivers, and I’d watch more sunsets.
I’d eat more ice cream – and fewer beans.
Sure I’d have more actual troubles, but fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I was one of those people who lived sensibly, and prophilactically,
hour-after-hour, and day-after-day.
Oh, that doesn’t mean I didn’t have my moments.
But if I had it to do all over, I’d have more of those moments.
In fact, I’d try to have nothing but moments, one after another.
I was one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer,
a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do all over again, I’d travel lighter next time.
I’d start barefoot earlier in the spring and I’d stay that way later in the fall.
I’d ride more merry-go-rounds, I’d pick more flowers, I’d hug more children,
I’d tell more people that I loved them,
If I had my life to live over again.
But, you see, I don’t.”

So get off you ass and live your life.

- Christian